Sunday, January 16, 2011

Loneliness, helplessness when away from me

 I am very depressed, lonely, helpless feeling of heart attack again ......< br> feelings of restlessness harassing me all the time, so I can not stop and do their own thing. I love the series of dreams The two women, once again break the already broken my sinking, fragile heart ......< br> Well, no longer think she said that on the bottom of my heart good to her and said good to take good of the great work, some things you like, but the past, recall, regret, bitterness will not easily let me always. I recognize that this monster is very powerful, it always appears at the time, can make When you look at the bottom of the sink to visit, I had it took it on board, but was powerless to overturn ...... really help, and to the red hair, a piece of information. It is clear she has or her did not put me in my heart before, but I think she still remembered her personal, she knew it ...... I can not say anything, I can not tell what it is can never be wiped heart to wounds, a clear scar ......  channel with different non-phase plan, forget it ......  do not know quiet now been? whether, as she wished ? I think she probably did not care about other people's evaluation of it, this self is not cared for the people of the psychological. But for individuals, so there is no so-called sad, sad, sympathetic to share her thoughts. people still very very happy and just did not expect a simple deep hurt the heart, one should not hurt the heart of his heart.
channel phase difference does not seek, forget it .... ..
my world no one can be about the same, but my heart does not allow me to just about other people. especially not to emulate the chic of disabilities, such damage is too overbearing and too relentless, I can not start. I not because of his injured back and put this vision irrelevant, even if the coherence of the people I think I can not really go to ambition, to resentment. This is my weakness you?
see today in the Xidan a pair of about 70 old old couple, old man with total devotion to the saxophone book. it seems the whole world to do with them, their world seems more exciting. outdoor temperature is minus 2. the old couple so engrossed continue their world, no two people are not even wearing gloves, but did not show feeling cold, but let people see their carefully!! Suddenly, I was shocked in front of this scene, deeply shocked, and they let me in this cold weather felt warm, cozy feel. to come How many people do not tend to notice them, and they did not like the other beggar with expectations, the eyes of the poor people around to each line of attention through the ceremony, hoping to win sympathy, the sympathy of a dime. They feel comfortable and enjoy their own world, do not ask the other world to anything. But I can stand it anymore, took out a dollar from the body bent down gently on their face, this action is not just my mind, there is deep respect to them. The old lady then said something to me, mild: wear more, cold weather! I was shocked, and said: Thank you! she did not because my glove it, so read more cold ah ~ but now I have to say a word, a surge of what stuck in my mind, I'm afraid the tears would not live up to expectations, and quickly walked away ......  an old married couple very impoverished living very comfortable, very hard very romantic, is it not something I want to pursue it? to such a life can be considered a luxury you?
I look forward to, looking forward to the change the next moment ..... .

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