Wit and humor

 Humor
foreign thieves and philanthropist
a rich painter for his portrait, please, draw good, he refused to pay the agreed compensation of 5,000 yuan on the grounds that:
Soon, the portrait painter to open exhibition title is: ; painter said quietly, Cerf is the ancient Greek artist, he paints a very realistic bunch of grapes, attracting the birds in all directions relative to competition
pecking. The other artists Bala Xi said: br> Soon, he'll get his picture in front of Zhuo Fuke Cerf. Zhuofu Ke Bala Xi Cerf just want to see the hands of the painting, the
anxious exclaimed: the curtain, I want to see your picture! husband said, EU has become a team captain
training school. One day, a low wall across the garden Emergency team members see Liebman paint. At the end, that troopers said:
concerned, you have really is a decent draw. > In the museum, a man while watching a painting, sat down to praise: I really want to be able to bring home those exotic colors. See who
York is a well-known miser. That day, he went to Jesse for his charcoal drawing frame can be do not want to pay.
Jesse knows his man, determined to rule him rule, and soon painting good.
York look, surprised and asked: br> Mr. finally a famous portrait painter
, so he invited a house painter.
my demeanor. painting a mural painter to the church, the little angel paintings became six fingers.
, these all are fakes
.
owner says that these paintings to donate after death. specifically asked what organization to donate the most suitable alluvial gold.
lazy painter replied: donated to the National Institute for the blind to see the best. sold, I was disappointed. but I came up with an idea. I think if
If there are several cracks in the walls of the house, then sell it certainly is not easy, so I drew so few mm piece of the ceiling above the window from the
down through the cracks, especially realistic.
> what a masterpiece of creation, then is that a few cracks. the trouble to come to me saying that I painted nothing like it. : of it? Draw some painting. Friends brought home, to show his talents, his own sketch show it to her a few
enjoy.

Her late husband, painting a portrait.
you paint a portrait. I can tell you: his eyes are gray,
hair is black, his mouth a handful of mustache and smile all day. br> A month later, he came to the widow house, the portrait painted out on the niche. The widow, after watching the film
moment exclaimed: ah! exhibition, the display of their works are up. there is a 50-year-old woman from
walked by, saw his paintings, said: to the day,UGG boots, the mouth is a triangular-shaped
it! > Regal stood two American oil painting lying in the hay. They paint it? abstract collages made of old car, I heard a woman next to another woman, said quietly: The
abstract painter married to a daughter. One day, she returned to her mother,UGG boots cheap, said:
it! hell abstract no abstract, as long as the price to sell a specific line! cooking. Then, I guess what he painted; and he does, guess what I am going to dinner. Pharaoh, and Pharaoh's army drowned in the Red Sea into the painting, but he would not pay more than
, and artists fight for a long time, and finally agreed to pay half price.
Two days later, the painter came to see the rich, Open the picture of a look, all painted red on the screen, not one.
rich man shouted: ? paintings, selected pieces are not satisfied Xu
. Finally, he is a white with black spots painted by the dumping of copper box, he asked the staff art exhibition:
on the staff do not know is ignorance or negligence, the painting masterpiece to hang upside down. They are ready to
rectify it, then stepped forward to stop the artist said: br> He picked up the pen to change the title of the work one, and become a He has a date. Gebei
careless and a bottle of glue in the knocked to the ground and broke bottles, broken glass, glue and glue brush mixed with a heap. Gebei Li
like glue dry, it may be easier to clean, so no clean-up and ran away.
other Gebei Li appointment came back and found that piece of mess was gone, and he felt very strange, took a case to tell the
teacher. After listening to surprise the teacher cried: painter held personal exhibitions. a lady came to galleries, standing in front of a picture looked a long time, said: ;
standing artists came and said: lady tailor who made the skirt? Think about it! before the invention of the telegraph was a famous painter. occasion, he invited a doctor friend to
visit his studio, when his friend saw a dying art, the repeated careful observation. Morse laughed and asked: ; how, any comment? looked at the painting, while the painter said: talking to you? , he decided to buy some art. this picture. A few weeks later, he went to art galleries. added. ; my friend, ;
painting, she picks around, pick on a still life painting, painting a bunch of flowers,UGG bailey button, a dish of fire
legs and a bagel.
wife asked: ;

br> ; is the case, we wanted to ride the heroic sculpture of a great man, but to a plastic horse, when not enough funds
. So hh
sculptors
tourists in their Paris, Place de la Concorde, heard two br> sculptor: ;
slow motion
ghost from his hip pocket money treat me? ; she told him
said, wife, you probably remember, I was 10 years younger then. br> Another said:
his clothes even more thin, miserable and helpless. I saw the future, and feeling very sad. His 3.5 aperture, and the thousandth of a second shutter. After the hero into the background,
control sound girl should release the sound of water gurgling.
who knows the girl distracted, forgot this crop of. actors on the stage rapped platen, but still no sound of water,
stage deathly silence. slightly hectares, from the edge of the stage came the soft voice actor: , killed the enemy at the moment, the pistol did not go off unexpectedly. again, shooting, still no sound.
natural audience uproar. cast a moment at a loss, he raised his foot panic, DPRK to go to kick the enemy. very experienced actor to play the enemy, only to see him
slowly fell to the ground, and then struggling to lift his head, with a faint voice said:
really die hh laughing then? God! br> could explain what? the actors are real
theater rehearsals, the director repeatedly pointed out the shortcomings of a young actress, she plays the role of a woman abandoned
bit.
, and untrue, please forgive me for that too blunt, you have to put all his heart into this role
to go, feel her feelings. your own ideas about it, if your lover abandoned you, your How will
it? I have 10 years did not go to the theater to see a play. Reporter abruptly to a famous opera singer asked about her age.
Do not you even do not remember how old their own? As for my age, no matter who is also not going to steal it. and rotten eggs all
bought. . in the award-winning, world famous artist with a small
violin playing for us some more wonderful music. land on the announcer said,
to a few pieces of piano music we play. This opportunity is more valuable, please applaud. : patience to a long row of that team! . because you get the fake crooked nose. br> ;
real pain
director excitedly exclaimed: a! However, following a speech that flight, be sure that guy should throw away! are taught to their children
son. son finally succeeded. a friend of violist, said: guest. But he must have been playing each of hospitality, such as bed mm > Sunday's party, after a long period of playing, the violinist worn out, but he Jiangdajingshen Zouwan
representing just eaten that meal programs. Finally, Thanks for the coffee De Woxia grams of do not know, do not put my coffee
sugar. . the audience shouted
said: was exhausted. he asked breathlessly:
a singer bragging to their friends: ah! A singer said: to sing it? , also a bow respectfully to you.
At this time, an old female guests actually started to cry.
master asked:
elderly guests said: American singer will be carefully talking.
more than enough. I do a house! fills up a brick. What is your favorite music to listen to it? Singing in the
branches mildly.
critics pointed to the birds, said: . musician pointed Crow said: live with? birds ;
lullaby
composer: time to do? down and one to correct a
. There is finally running out of patience tube arias, and on the conductor shouted: play Lo! ; the second trumpet player did not attend. Ida Shafer of Athens Philharmonic Orchestra in the semicircle of ancient open-air theater rehearsal.
three shepherds in the field of play on the steps of watch.
few minutes later, a shepherd admiration of partners, said: ! these advocates really have a skill, let alone the person
dance. clearly written on the mixed chorus
is l r, only men can be Chorus team, how the matter?
a mix! > the middle of the first act show, an audience left the theater and demanded a refund.
Your seat is not good? large theater I felt a little scared. to new actors. when Austrian
Serlo to strangle her, actually applaud the hall: how to see that play? it was a comedy,UGG boots clearance, it would be fun, right? what? help me to be a sponge pillow? ,
tears after reading it out to see how many tears to know the effects of good or bad play. : When he was only pretending to play a few drumsticks children. br> to the pianist side said: , bowed lower. count the words of finally finished his sentence:
A famous singer is singing. At this time, there is an audience sing along with the tremolo up.
Is it me? Ambassador Claude loving music, listening to a Beethoven symphony in the concert, a talkative woman
asked him: > Claude coldly replied: Those girls have to tiptoe when not dancing, if not too short stature selecting any actor
pick some tall girls do!