Zi, the story of an era
the 20th anniversary of the poet's death the memorial day mm2009 Haizi on March 26, I sat on a train bound for home Hai, the same car, as well as the poet Nishikawa, poets and writers Daisen relaxation. Nishikawa as the most well-known Classics of the poet. Age poet has been born, that is, Hai! dining car drank too much wine, one asked the other: the night before the trip, opened the curtains, only to see vague shadows. suddenly was not sure where it will sail, only know that it takes a long time to arrive. maybe we turned the direction of the line against the tide, do not intermittently over the age of the drove.
that time, Hai Zi is ecstatic, proud of fantasy with a youth poetry, he at the end of puberty to the age of 25 of the body of the train lying on slow track, on suicide. It was like he was honest and frank and exciting poetry final signature, but also the beginning he was deified. The story of martyrdom for the poetry provides a simplistic but attractive fantasy mm great poetry does not come from special historical environment and the efforts of the poet, but a genius is always stuck in adolescence spontaneous emotion. He committed suicide the moment, has stimulated changing aesthetic ideals and life habits of the barrier, is also a sign of broader changes, ;, become a pillar of poetry, a symbol of idealism finished, a legend with the death of youth memorial.
that era, and guidance of our era today where all of this, but it is itself in today is incredible. At the time behavior, tastes, endowments, and now hard to imagine; was a dream has now disappeared; a time when the history of the new history has been smooth. that era 20 years ago, however, many people have personal experience, in retrospect, like a interval of 200 years. the pen name of camphor trees in the village street, in a Bay ponds, Haizi mm in front of his childhood to show he was playing barefoot in the fields, eat in the wild rice to neighbors, such as a mouse; He was also the night after the wheat harvest , is a view into the charred stubble burning, the feelings of center / are you burn hh the sky, absorbing the bright sky. the village of the young men work outside the home, leaving the elderly, children and mother, a typical village in southern Anhui, home alone and lonely. rapeseed grown like rural annual shell, with abrupt penetrating the heart of the vibrant.
as a spring rain, cold weather down, Hai Zi's mother, 75-year-old operating mining Jusheng a fire bucket mm one kind unique heating tool in rural Anhui, along the barrel has a prominent containing a point Tanpen, sitting bucket, feet stretched out on a baking Tanpen body. She is not flexible legs and feet, while carrying his hand a foot had stepped into the bucket to see my side of the trembling I sit in greeting. We next leg leg, the name pops rain eaves, the house quiet and dark. She took out from the edge of the bed a poetry? thick accent, carefully read slowly, often stopping to identify words, poetry has been turned too dark curling, uncommon word mark next to a simple yet neat homophones. she read the attached and br> mother (poems)
beautiful fruits of the wind the wind
little wind beautiful natural breasts
water beautiful beauty
no water, ah
time talking to you
the door of your house in the old poverty
beautiful cover (air, good water, that is our home so poor, he also felt the U.S. ah)
wind blowing across the prairie
green horse bones (which said that he himself, his own horse, just like that > biological mother of the blue lips
with the body (over his own chest)
covered with wild flowers of the piano rock
bones and glass
old, white hair hanging down to rest your
mother (he let me go to rest, but he now rest, I'm still alive)
quiet hillside Fuzhao son
Like the quiet mountainside flowing water
I sing rain clouds
beautiful tribute to marry
I know there is no use of poetry lovers (he had been going good Therefore, not used)
I sing I know I will eventually happiness and all the holy people
meet in heaven (he is now to heaven, he was happy)
mother sat on a low stool home to me (referring to a bench on the ground)
a stool as if it was my mother's snow roof roof
Rays ten thousand
I want to see your mother, mother
your foot facing the barn at dusk
I know that you become increasingly aging (she took off caps, let me look at her white hair)
language and the language itself well
like a mother always something to say, in riverside
cross the river in the experience
cross the river in the phenomena
flowers as soft wife
listening ear and a place full of poetry
listen to the water falls on Good Friday of the water
far (he went the distance, never come back)
Hai Zi's parents live in a House, the door The villagers are accustomed to it as a landmark. the emitting a smell and you can never forget the smell. The old couple gradually reduced, from the physical to the spiritual, as if staying here, they never closed the door, always welcomed visitors, quietly sat side by side, the exercise of Museum administrator responsibilities, feelings of is that the 8 back. Haizi not lived the old house, renovated in 2004, the pattern intact, it took more than 50,000 pieces, with the , cover a full six months, he just played in a hollow in the house, and now also hung an empty cement floor, and the village can not find more impressive than this, more of a light and spacious. such energy for? old people come to see, we can not shabby people joke. imposed mercy. He has a superior ability to survive, once known for the tailor, master planting, rural kiosk owner, tofu shop owner, he is no doubt the parents. Occasionally, he angrily entered the main room, shouting with dialect , just as calm after suffering people suffered temporary cynical. He distinguished, conceited, never been down. he backs straight.
Ju mining operation back a bit bent, a year fall, taper waist dislocation, had never healed. She s got a soft, thin face, mouth shut, the skin appears to float in the muscle, as if a windblown rose petals, or big black covered haystack plastic sheeting, rain and wind it lost its luster and flexibility, thin surface also give birth to a lot of bubbles. she is exposed to more clearly against the spirit of some, squatted her shoulders, she was so quiet, slow, cautious . She always was about two emotions: to pack belongings when Hai, Jiao yellow bird dog hair can call her laugh, it was bought Haizi work, Laotaibuxiao, and also play cat and the dog ah, that grow up Yo-old boy; turned unpaved covers the blue box on the sofa bed sheets, Hai Zi used his lifetime, she depressed to softly Well: , Hai Zi eve of the anniversary of the death of 20, a self-proclaimed Beijing boss came to the tomb of Hai rebuilt. room grabbed his hand, his eyes moist to scrutinize mm thick, the beard is more dense, and also split the folder mottled white spots ballast. She looked like another son. check is all it is etiquette not single out the slightest No comprehensive master, throwing chairs off the back of a jacket, shook themselves from the spirit raise visitors. They do not call Haizi imaginary name, the ; Hai ; not immediately buried, must be temporary in the temporary tomb In 1992, it buried the ashes of Hai Zi, graves small, front-end is set with a bottle of two bottles of Buddha Sakya Muni mm, a bottle of Green Tara, are Hai Zi September 1988 is to go to Tibet Mani Dui pick up from the back. in front of vertical tombstone engraved inscription: , calling him a Big Zhasa brother Charles spent two months Shuming tombstones rebuilt, retaining the original graves, cement casing in the above puzzle, widened, and established a small Beiqian huge blocks of granite tombstone, inscribed It is unique in the hills, self-contained pieces of cemetery style. worship before the ceremony, to watch the villagers head sweater, sitting on the cement edge of the grave basking in the sun on the steps. county leaders made statements, will be placed Peacock Southeast Haizi The story takes place to fly, Chen's hometown in this context, Nishikawa's hand is always Jinjinzuanzhao.
High River Middle School Speech Team, reading aloud, real start, enjoy the cool air, and squatting on the ground smoking, chatting, taking pictures, are solemn and there are like suddenly realized, poetry and the poet should not be forgotten. But it is only memorial ceremony, ; another highlight and flash back, it occurs far away with the poetry of rural Anhui, in the outside world, rarely recite poetry, the poet gradually becomes quiet. on the death of memory is too strong, far greater than Death claimed the life of the memory of the much stronger, Hai Zi has gradually faded image of the poet, the work of civil servants. that moment, everyone seems to have review and understanding of his death.
word. He would not talk about more. chrysanthemum mining operation only when the mother sigh mm inadvertently help him at home if getting a job, if he went south into business, if hh
1989 in the second half, Hai parents think reading useless, so the other three sons all dropped out. big brother Charles Shuming has three college entrance examination, the smallest check Shun Kwan, never graduated from junior high school. three brothers almost in years, and now were in Hefei, Xi'an and Beijing to work, selling physical and do a small business, living in straitened circumstances.
Hai Zi's alma mater, but also the alma mater of three brothers, the evening class of high river school basketball game on the playground. Students bursts whistle surrounded by a packed, playground back, once Haizi class teaching building, has long been demolished to make, from the Building rules, brand-new small building, in the past have been without trace. suddenly have the students recognized Nishikawa, people like Bay Colony came from the playground, autograph. no one has recognized the crowd outside the search Shuming, a manuscript he left behind like a lengthy period on the outside. He inherited the home Aishou check the stocky stature, dark complexion , simple and honest a little shy, but also entrenched the weight of life in him, as if that will never leave. He heaved a sentence: children a layer of gray, as if from a more distant years are passed down. The old couple still sleeping in it. Christmas midnight sea, mining operation, 31-year-old Ju, head of the two girls, because not only called the midwives, please doctor, a 2-year-old died and another lived only 7 days. Haizi born, the village barefoot doctor, and won the boy, the next few years, but also the first meet Pengguo three male, were large Shuming brother Charles, two brothers check into training, little brother Charles Chun Shun. Zha Wan there is a saying, boy, first child of a hard life, both prisoners and other family grams, in turn relatives gather a single essence. < br> 1984, the Hai family, the first show to the long poem he wrote, the money. and Milan. Kundera's daughter, has chosen that broke the engineer. the vibrant beauty. she work in the tea factory, had a good voice, good Huangmei, is the art troupe of the Tai Zhuzi factory. That year Rehearsal in the second prize. around tour of the station to the sewing factory, and found the whole investigation is. He h frail, 13-year-old school tailors, artisans have been known for more than 20 years of age. ; 50 years past, when I start speaking of love Ju adopted, only the light sentence. old hide their emotions, in front of outsiders does not reveal a trace of affection, can rely on and crushes between them even better than the day they met but also They made a strong mm for life, despite family opposition, ran away on foot from Linxian Qimen Huaining come and take a 5 days and 5 nights.
Hai was a child, is a beautiful round face and little boy , smooth skin, cheeks broad, gentle and pleasant. check hard-working family belongs to a class, and at that time, China's rural families, survive the winter, hunger, work overload, only natural that parents, eat, and can survive is the most important, intelligent, sensitive, romantic, nothing to do with the living, if that is the gift of an accident.
maybe it is a little bit with her mother, Hai Zi brought some rough and desolate village life out of tune characteristics. He loves clean, wearing his father's Dacron sewing a small package, the back of a small cloth bag, containing Quotations from Chairman Mao, a child head, ran down the street one day, a little mud on the shoes are not. read mining operation through private school in his daisy-old early childhood literacy to hand, so he took a hand, a palm-leaf fan and then told a small partner to listen to. He loved to sing, sing often minor: once selected, a soldier came to power a guest.
5 years old, Charles Wan's 48; in the second half he was holding hands sitting in a classroom investigation Wan Primary School into the .10-year-old to skip school .1975 in High River, High River away from the political center since high school, no suspension of classes due to the Cultural Revolution, transformation river, half-work half- Like school children did not back down, Hai Zi Li Zhi bring junior high school students increased in the question on the exam: Chile is very fuzzy image of the campus, just All of the stubborn temper is up, and rebuke, said: . In order to earn a home, work points, the day working on the tree, Hai Zi, the village and some people call him admitted to the University, he Cengceng climb down, breath and went for miles outside of High River High School. the family is very grand celebration ceremony , invited neighbors and distant relatives, to kill the head of 200 kilos of old sow, Zhi Teachers College after graduating high school to do to stay in High River language teacher, he faces all the Chinese secondary school language teachers have to deal with the problem: Let's talk about selection into the textbooks to the students of the it is optimistic or pessimistic. Zhi insists that it is the first positive beautiful poetry, but also explain the old school of suicide .1989 January 28, the last time they met back home Haizi retained the habit of visiting students , but also nothing to talk about, and that night stayed up late, Zhi pushing a bike trail along the Hai Zi village back home, but also means the then buried Luanfen Gang Hai. weather is chilly, the wind facial pain, as that what has been blurred in memory, Li Zhi, said he had never really understood the roll, but found that the root does not pull off the feeling. his parents, brother, little communication, like a lot to say, and even if only small things you can talk in mm on the ban has been in Beijing, he still loves clean, holidays back, insist on family tofu shop door that opened a large pot, burning a pot of boiling water, climbing into a hot shower. He quietly, like the cold weather in winter, find a place where the sun sit down and sped his pen, operating mining Ju asked him: inch black and white photographs, he also insisted to talk about his understanding of the causes of suicide Hai Zi: to social injustice, he chose to Shanhaiguan lying on rails, both the means of devotion to country, but also angry and helpless. you see he left a big beard, and dense and long, what would Marx, what would he. > 1986 -1987 years, Hai Zi in the Teachers will be teachers after graduating from
in a dawn and a simple farm girl fall in love with
But why I came to the tavern and city
with the whole village could hear the voice said to him: , Charles was all tears, and Hai see a little sad, eager for the future.
as the reopening after the second session of the new school and some terribly busy, not enough quarters, a class of 10 boys and a few more than 30 girls, are living in a large plain room. classmate Liu Guangan at first beheld Zi, he mixed with the noisy excitement of the new mattress in the bedding, if there is anything non-special, really small heads, age is also small, almost a child, but also quilt fabric has his march in a group of green is a very garish. law courses loose materials are not available, and everyone kept on simmering reading, archeology, philosophy, literature, poetry hh find anything to see what.
80 years of college campuses is clearly not the provision of social experience, not even the vocational skills training, they instinctively get admonished mm into the superb, from the reality of the knowledge of the Republic, the Republic of Greece, Germany, France, the United States for the traditional intellectual tradition those new immigrants, as recruits, as empty-handed, no matter the brain, they are their own best teachers, to find clothes to wear, find food, find it intellectually limited variety of support materials. Liuguang An said that the university four years has made him later, in writing, He, a row of head drilled out from the drying pants, Hai Zi is the smallest heads.
year Peking University, organized a poetry reading on campus, the auditorium can hold 1,700 people, crowded the station crowded rush 2,000 people. Poetry Society are everywhere: giant of Chinese literature of the , Library Department, some twists and turns. numerous busy information to bypass the distribution center, Hai Zi carved wax paper at the door to help him his first book of poems mimeographed own people, called the relationship with the Faculty of Law near the floor. I did not expect a shy timid so little, much, like a hermit away from the noise with the Centre. may Whitman Hai Zi and quoted a poem:
North often Shen chant. Sun Festival pocket, out the kind of color, a dust mask foot one pair of white sneakers, as if from a distance and return journey, walk around the campus. He came from 79 Chinese literature, backbone, a minor celebrity on campus poet. > They were all age 20 years old, Haizi minimum, it is in their prime age, they are only interested in poetry and in poetry, when alive, there is a sense of invulnerability mm do not see something in this world can hurt them. sometimes go to the playground side of the May Fourth Movement is the discourse center; old wood with him choking a bit dry; Haizi he heard, he spoke; Nishikawa, after 20 years as the only memories of those who, talking about Hegel, Kant, the translation of the discussion, looking forward to Dante's into a small space, where the air is warm, moist but not mobile, as a point from morning till night closed the windows in the room air gas furnace. party will , most of the quarters in Changping Hai Zi, a distortion in the chair, the other three cross-backward a single bed the next day at noon and then be through the blue curtains of sun light woke up the sun.
total and Luo Yihe as a ratio, Haizi more introverted, rural youth may be a bit shy, but he loves a clean, not dirty, but will flower white T-shirt dyeing, and no one else to dress, reveals a wild boy's stubborn. In the studio Nishikawa, let him talk is even more memorable, more thrilling story of friendship, he thought for a long time: Haizi clean, easy amiable, people want to spend with him. too humble, in the memories of the screen in almost transparent. is called assigned to the China University of Political Science after the magazine editors do Zi, as many as 80 young people who received a copy of his times, neither the right to choose, do not worry about the future, the end of the campus life, social life, a prelude; as a head buzz sound of the poet, he used to such speculation: Changping communication cut off from the expectations of the soul of the poet, the loneliness of the poet added. Changping, Beijing is located in the northeast, An emperor cemetery and placed a pool of several reservoirs, rural quiet , 1984 -1989, 20 years old -25 years old lake in spent here.
1983 summer, the first gang to be placed in the the downtown area, then next to the township government, a small alley of a street, opposite a row of pig pens, it is Law of young teachers quarters. smell smell smell smell certainly get used to it, from morning to night on the dormitory roof tummy to beat a fly. a hot day like to wear long-sleeved shirts, walking like foot dragging to the Zi, carrying a water bottle to the head quarters to open water, and meet new colleagues, to get to know.
Hai is the Tang Shizeng University of Political Science's first friend. He came from Beijing University, Health Committee r who picked up the vacuum bottle is empty, then that would back such as the prick. camera is useless, social shark's mouth is open, you swallow, exterminate you and your spirit.
1984 years, they were a big barra to Changping, school leaders complacent about them on the station planning wasteland : Here put up buildings, where the library has been built into the foot of the hill. absently listening to these young people, schools did not cover, they was the first to stay. Western is in the residential buildings of the early Changping First, the six small building red brick, white paint dotted the hillside, high and grand, 15, 16, bought the two buildings were done teacher living quarters. two people share the Bedroom, and then there is a person resident city, it was the one. Haizi almost alone in enjoying, Building 15, 302, compared to students crowded dorm, living Tongzilou colleagues, much more comfortable, the first year to do supplementary wage 45, the second year rose assistantship 56, both without the need to fight, no suspense, neither more nor less, commercial city of civilization and the philistine style dragon has not yet begun development, more money, the desire not to spend money from any person role.
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